From the SPAM Files

Spammers are getting quite creative in their attempts to lure me into clicking random links so they can get my login information. I’m going to share a couple of my latest favorites.

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $63.80. Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

To access the form for your tax refund, please click here (link removed)

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

(c) Copyright 2006, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved..

Clicking on the link took me to a fairly convincing site, but I’m fairly certain that the United States Internal Revenue Service hasn’t yet decided to run its servers out of Japan, and even if they have, they probably would want more information from me than my Social Security Number and my credit card info. Unfortunately, I don’t need $63.80 bad enough to fall for this one.

Subject: Microsoft Outlook Lucky winner…

From: Mrs. Helen Van Patt
(Lottery Coordinator)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

We are pleased to inform you the result of the Microsoft Outlook Award Lotteries, held on the 15th July 2006.

Your e-mail address attached to ticket #: 4434/2113-78 with prize # 83429/2 drew ?1,000,000.00 which was first in the 2nd class of the draws.

You are to receive ?1,000,000.00 (One Million Euros).

Because of mix up in cash payouts, we ask that you keep your winning information
confidential until your money (?1,000,000.00) has been fully remitted to you by our
accredited pay-point bank.

This measure must be adhere to avoid loss of your cash prize – winners of our cash
prizes are advised to adhere to these instructions to forestall the abuse of this
program by other participants.

It’s important to note that these draws were conducted formally, and winners are
selected through an Internet ballot system from 60,000 individual and companies
e-mail addresses the draws are conducted around the world through our Internet
based ballot system.

The promotion is sponsored and promoted by WORLD MICROSOFT OUTLOOK PROGRAMM.

We congratulate you once again. We hope you will use part of it in our next draws; the Jackpot winning is 2, million Euros.

Remember, all winning must be claimed not later than 20 days.

After this date all unclaimed cash prize will be forfeited and included in the next sweepstake.

Please, in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications remember to
quote personal and winning numbers in all correspondence with us.

Congratulations once again from all members of Internet Microsoft Lotteries.

Thank you for being part of our promotional program.

For immediate release of your cash prize to you, please kindly contact our Paying Bank (Laagste Heypotheekofferte Bank Amsterdam,)

Send them the following Information Through the Email Address below:

(i). Your names
(ii) Contact telephone and fax numbers
(iii) Contact Address
(iv) your winning numbers
(v) Quote amount won.

Laagste Heypotheekofferte Bank. N.L.
Mrs. Jennifer Clark,
Email : (removed)
Email: (removed)
Tel: (removed)
Fax: (removed)

Congratulations once again.
Yours in service,
Mrs. (Grace Ferry)
(Lottery Coordinator)

I’m not so much surprised that I won one million euros, that seems to happen every couple of days. I’m more concerned that the From: line at the top of the email and the signature are two different names. I briefly considered replying to the people on the list, but then I realized that by posting this I have already forfeited my claim to the money. You know, since you all know my winning ticket number and can now claim my winnings that were previously held up in some kind of mix-up… or something like that.

And finally:

Subject: Re: cat who has inherited a castle

That’s it. The email didn’t have a body, just a subject line that I found humorous for some strange reason.