Archive for May, 2003

Search Engines

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

5. gut punch wrestling. I tried this search on Google and didn’t see my site in the top 30 pages it spit back at me. Maybe someone is using some other search engine.

4. dance dance revolution aim expressions. My site pops up 4th on the first page of this query. Unfortunately I don’t have a clue what it’s supposed to mean. Someone enlighten me

3. wrestling maneuvers. Well, Google still didn’t turn up anything site related, but I know people keep getting this page where I tried to document every wrestling move ever performed. Why would anyone want to look up a page describing the Inverted Atomic Drop is beyond me.

2. nes advantage. YES! My site comes up at the top of the page for anybody looking for information on the best NES controller ever. Too bad all they get is my ode.

1. funny surveys. This one baffles me. Well, moreso than all the others. This search phrase brought three times the people that #2 did. Do peoele really want to take funny surveys that bad?

Okay, after analyzing the top 5 search queries, it’s obvious that people want to see a funny survey about wrestling, the NES Advantage, and DDR AIM expressions, so I have compiled one on your right. Please vote accordingly.

People are insane

Wednesday, May 28th, 2003

Now, I like NES stuff as much as the next guy. I do own three of the things. Apparently, someone decided to amass a huge collection of the games for the system and then sell the whole pile on eBay.

The winning bid was somewhere in the neighborhood of $6,000, or about $10 per game.

I just hope the guy selling them didn’t get all those games brand new.


Wednesday, May 28th, 2003

Okay, I’ll admit it, I suck at text adventure games. I must have invested eight or nine thousand hours in Skullduggery: Adventures in Horror and I never made anything resembling progress in that game. I don’t know what it is, maybe I just don’t understand how things are supposed to work in games like that. I want an unlimited inventory. If I have to kill a Vampire Cocker Spaniel with a banana shaped bowl filled with lime Jell-O, then there should be a book or something telling me that. Things like that aren’t normally come to mind when I’m playing games.

That being said, there’s a place online where you can play a versoion of the ‘classic’ game that ‘hardcore’ ”gamers” still giggle about, Zork.

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

Tuesday, May 27th, 2003

Ever play a game that you just couldn’t finish? Maybe it’s just sadistically hard, or maybe you had to take it back to the rental store. Whatever the case, this site has several endings available for you to look at so you can say that you have finished whatever game you suck at.

Memorial Day.

Tuesday, May 27th, 2003

Nothing like a Memorial Day of doing absolutely nothing to wear a guy out.

What’s a good way to pass the time on a national holiday? I don’t have any idea. I used it primarily to finally finish up The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, so now I’m looking for something else to keep my gaming lobe occupied. Maybe I need to jump back on the Pok

This week in gaming

Saturday, May 24th, 2003

A lot has happened in the world of video games this week. You can’t turn around without running into some site or other
deluging you with information on the E3, and I suppose that’s by design. I mean, all kinds of great things were unveiled. You can find out what happened at about three hundred different websites, so I’m not going to go into any of it here.

Now that college is out, I’ve finally had the opportunity to play some games that I’ve had laying around the house for a while, and some that I probably shouldn’t have played.

Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Yeah, it’s taken me way too long to get to this game, and it pains me that I didn’t get to it sooner. Wind Waker is simply an amazing game. Lots (and lots) of people have been whining about how horrible the game looks, and I’m not going to get into any kind of argument here. Either you like the look or you don’t. It’s as simple as that. I like it. Beyond that, the game itself is typical Zelda fare. That is to say it’s amazing. The game connects in several places with the Ocarina of Time, and although you can get plenty of enjoyment out of the game without having played through Ocarina, you will get more out of Wind Waker if you have. Judging by my inventory screen, the game seems a little short on dungeons. I would have liked to have seen more because what is there is done very well.

*NSync: Get to the Show

So there I was, browsing the game selection at my local Coconuts and I saw a Game Boy Color game for $3.99. Then I see the title. I was torn. Yeah, it’s a game about *Nsync, but it’s also $4. Couldn’t I get $4 out of the game? I decided that I could.

I was wrong.

*NSync: Get to the Show is just about the worst game I’ve ever played. In the game, you (*NSync’s biggest fan…) have to help the band get to some concert somewhere. Each leg of the journey is it’s own ‘level’, and the game only spans 5 levels, all of them bad.

  1. I forgot what all the levels are called, so I’m just going to make up some names for them. The first game is ‘Drive Somewhere.’ You’re job is to drive the band to the hotel, but along the way they decide they want to go bowling or pick up
    flowers or something else. If you can figure out where the place that you’re supposed to go to is, you can stop there and some weird sound will play, but that’s it. If you don’t stop, the game doesn’t penalize you, and you get to the end of the level faster. It’s hard to get lost in this town, since all the roads head straight towards the hotel, you can veer left or right, but you are always heading toward the hotel, and unless your batteries die in your Game Boy, you’ll make it.
  2. The second level is the ‘asleep at the hotel’ level. I just don’t understand this part at all. Picture a 3 x 3 grid. Inside this grid you’ll see either something that makes noise or a member of the band. Press ‘A’ to quiet down the noisy ‘thing’ or ‘B’ to put the band member back to bed. Do this for three rounds and you win. I think. This level actually started to challenge me. Picking out the telephones or the babies was pretty simple, however I choked when I had to identify the band members. I am not an *NSync fan, so I had a pretty tough time picking out Random Noisy Guy from Phil, Joel, Jimmy, Dave, or Steve. I perservered and ‘won.’
  3. Now the band’s rested, but they’re hungry. Fantastic. So it’s time to make some burgers. Now, I’ve never actually been in the kitchen of a fast food place, so I don’t really know how accurate the simulation of the burger making process is. But assuming it’s as accurate a simulation as you can get, I can now understand why it takes upwards of a minute to get a sloppily assembled meat and vegetable sandwich. Your little *NSync guy is on the bottom of the screen holding a plate and he’ll randomly yell out what he wants on his burger. The only thing you can do is move him left and right to try and catch the meat and condiments that are raining from the sky. Get the wrong condiment 3 times and… something happens. It’s not hard, but it’s not fun either.
  4. More driving. See #1

  5. We’re at the show. Great, this trainwreck is almost over. But no! The band can’t go on until they do a ‘ritual.’ Fine. What kind of lame ritual do I have to help the band do? Hackey sack. No, really. I have to pass the beanbag to each band member and keep it airborne for 30 seconds. Not only is it easy, it doesn’t make any sense. Two thumbs… in my eyes!
  6. Wow, the show’s going on. 5 clumps of pixels begin to wiggle in sync on what I can only hope is a stage. But wait! You’re not done yet. You can use the ‘A’ button to change the song and the ‘B’ button to change the lighting (or was it ‘A’ to change the lighting and ‘B’ to… screw it, I’m not going to play it again to find out). There are 3 or 4 songs you can pick from, and none of them even remotely sounded like that one song that they played on the radio all the time last summer. Lame.

Stunt Puppy Entertainment managed to take a really crappy license and make a really really crappy game. I don’t think that even if I held my breath until the brink of unconsiousness that I could confuse this with something that’s fun.

I give this game a 1 out of 10. Stay as far away from it as you can.

That’s all for this week. I just hope I can recover from this *NSync thing by Monday.

Wonder Boy Adventure Island

Thursday, May 22nd, 2003

I remember playing Adventure Island a long time ago, and thinking it was fun and original, but apparently it bears some resemblance to another game. At least that’s what these guys think

The Game Man

Wednesday, May 21st, 2003

You’ve seen the Game Boy, but have you seen the the Game Man?

M. C. Kids

Monday, May 19th, 2003

I remember playing M. C, Kids for the NES and thinking it was a decent game. It even made it into some issue or other of Nintendo Power,

One of the developers has, on his personal website posted his thoughts on the game.

I don’t know, he sounds a little bit bitter to me.

NES Memories

Wednesday, May 14th, 2003

Fond memories of playing NES just don’t seem the same when you are looking at them through the eyes of a barely literate 13 year old.

From the article:

“I’m only 13.But I remember the NES like I still have one.I loved that thing.Alright now lets go back.back to sumthing sumthing 1990.I had to half sisters and a older sister.Our best friend was Trina who had a NES.We went there all the time playing her NES.Then christmas that year we had one of our one.

Better look out, this kid might write for GameSpot some day…