Archive for September, 2005

Game Box 2

Friday, September 30th, 2005

The materials for this project are largely the same as the last one:

1 computer
1 exitzer0
1 large pizza
1 2 liter of Mt. Dew
1 Adobe Photoshop
1 Internet
1 skillfully crafted portrait
1 scanner
1 X-Acto knife
1 ruler
1 FedEx Kinko’s
5 empty GameCube cases
5 mini CDRs
1 post office

I had this idea a while ago, shortly after the failure of my last project, but didn’t want to sacrifice the cases of games like Bad Boys Miami Takedown or Blowout because then they’d be sitting around my house naked… Gross. So the project was temporarily put on hold until I discovered that Nintendo sells replacement cases for GameCube games through their online store for about $1 each (plus shipping), and they conveniently came in packs of 1, 5, or 10.

If you were unaware there are actually CDRs made that are the same size as the GameCube discs, so they fit perfectly into these cases. While I was at my local Big Lots of all places, I found that they had a five-pack of the mini-CDRs for $2.49. Since I knew it was kismet, I went ahead and snatched up a couple of the packs, just in case my writer decided that I needed more coasters.

After I had the requisite materials, I called upon local Photoshop Kung-Fu artist, exitzer0. After toiling tirelessly throughout the evening, fueled only by pizza and Mt. Dew, and directed by the fevered, disjointed ravings of a madman, a layout was born.

Once we were satisfied that the layout would meet all expectations, I again made my way to my local FedEx Kinko’s, and had them utilize their printers to marry pixel and paper. I’m sure that at this point the employees there think I’m some sort of lunatic, but they wouldn’t be the first to make that assumption. The printing was done on some of the most expensive paper I’ve ever encountered. At $3.00 each, I fully expected each of the glossy two-dimensional renderings to hop in my car and drive me to whatever destination they chose.

Eventually I was able to wrest my gaze from the terrible beauty that became known as the Printed Works and began to prepare them for the journey that lay ahead. By utilizing both the X-Acto knife and the ruler in tandem, I was able to ensure that my cuts were straight and true. Upon completion I carefully placed each jacket into its proper position, taking extra care to ensure that all things lined up appropriately, then set back and was overtaken by wonder at the Things I had created.

By sheer force of Will, I was able to momentarily turn my attention to the creation of the Disc. My hope was that the materials contained on it would exemplify the wide range of talents that I posess, as well as any appropriate contact information. I certainly wanted the people who looked at these gems of creativity to be able to contact me since they would no doubt be compelled to by the sheer majesty of it all. Ultimately, I decided to include a writing sample consisting of my acclaimed Summer Vacation article and the Director’s Cut of my nearly-famous Video Game Movie. These things, when packaged with the Box itself, would create something heretofore unseen by mortals.

And so they are completed. Each one destined to an entity that (it is my presumption) would appreciate all that is the Game Box 2. One by one they leave the nest, and only after I am sure that they have vanished from the face of the planet will I reveal their destinations, lest someone else try to grab a piece of my thunder.


Tuesday, September 27th, 2005

R.I.P. Forums

Thursday, September 22nd, 2005

Well, it’s kind of hard to believe that three years ago today I added forums to this site. In that time there have been 2694 posts across 332 topics by 27 users resulting in a database size of 2.61 MB.

Posting on the forums has dwindled down to be essentially nonexistant, much to my dismay. So, I thought that it would be fitting that on the three year anniversary of putting them on my site that I’d take them off.

It’s been a fun ride. Should anyone wish to take part in an alternate messaging system I’ve set up somewhere else on the site, please contact me and I’ll give you all the necessary information.

Hard Games Revisited

Saturday, September 3rd, 2005

Tom’s Hardware has posted an interesting article lamenting the decreasing difficulty level of today’s games.

Of course, I covered this topic nearly three years ago and then again just under a year later, showing just how far ahead of the curve I am.


Thursday, September 1st, 2005

Diablo II

Diablo II is the sequel to the marginally successful dungeon crawl Diablo (a game that I actually did finish in a respectable amount of time). Since I had just finished the first one, I literally ran to my local video game store and bought Diablo II days after its release in 2000. I spent the next few weeks slogging through the game and actually managed to complete the content that was packaged in my box.

Then I found out that the rest of the game was going to be sold seperately as an ‘expansion’. Since I didn’t think I should have to pay extra for the ending of a game that I already bought, I decided against buying it… until August… of 2004. I decided that I had let Blizzard suffer enough and dropped my $20 for the final act of my game. I was pretty pumped and spent a couple of days completing quests. I actually managed to get the first 4 (out of six) done.

And I just finished up the last two yesterday (yesterday being August 30, 2005). It took me just over five years, but I finally managed to complete the game with my first character. I’m kicking around the idea of starting up a second character, but I don’t know if I have the stamina to play that long again.

Current status: Complete! Okay, so I technically completed this game, but it took me 5 years to do so. That gives me hope for the rest of the Unfinished Masses.

Warcraft III

I actually bought this game and the expansion to play the multiplayer with some friends that lived out of town. I later discovered that there was a single-player mode. An interesting and compelling single player mode that actually eases you into the game and teaches you how to play.


Unfortunately, in completely unrelated incidents, every time I started to play the single player campaign my hard drive met with some catastrophic set of circumstances that rendered all data contained on it completely inaccessible, forcing me to start over. After that happened twice, I just lost the will to try it again. I think it might have rolled under the couch, and that thing’s heavy.

Current Status: Casting Totem of Hard Drive Corruption on my computer

F-Zero GX

I’ll admit it. I was seriously jazzed about F-Zero GX before its release. I spent entirely too much time with F-Zero X for the N64 and just knew deep down in my soul that this game would provide me with the same drug-like experience that would make hours seem like minutes while I unlocked all the wonders that the disc hid within.

I bought the game shortly after it became a Player’s Choice title for $19.99 and did get quite a bit of enjoyment out of it, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe it was the sickening level of difficulty or the enormous mountain of things to unlock or the connectivity to F-Zero AX that I couldn’t actually take advantage of since AX has yet to materialize (to my knowlege) within 250 miles of my house. Perhaps it was a combination of all three things, but I only managed to unlock a paltry five or so racers and a small collection of custom parts that, when assembled into a working F-Zero racer, control like a refrigerator full of concrete being pulled across an icy river by a lawnmower motor.

Current Status: On hold