Exposing my socks to the world

Just because the NES hasn’t been manufactured in several years, that doesn’t mean that it’s been abandoned. There are still some sites that have an insane amount of information on it. It’s good to see that I’m not the only NES fan out there.

According to the game’s readme, the premise of the game goes like this… “The legendary superhero Spector has found, to his shock, that he cannot write off all the damage he has caused to the city out of his taxes unless he proves that he has sustained significant damage in the process himself! Now it’s up to you to ‘help’ him with this little detail..”



So what does that mean? Essentially it means that you now have a person standing at the top of some stairs just waiting for someone to shove him off. You score points based on the amount and kind of damage you do, with neck damage worth the most. The game keeps track of high scores and can send them to the author’s web-site so you can see how you stack up against other Porrasturvat players.



This game is pretty fun for a while. It’s (probably) not the kind of game you’ll spend hours at a time on, but it’s an awesome time waster.

In order to spread my vast knowledge of gamers and their culture, I have compiled just such a chart: http://crummysocks.com/articles/expressions.html

Where do I begin? Super Monkey Ball is a very peculiar game. To take a quote from the manual, you have to “guide the monkeys in the balls to the goal.” That simple description really is all there is to the game, but the game it really a lot more fun than that sounds.



The controls are very similar to those Labyrinth games where you have to roll a marble through a maze, only you control the maze instead of the marble. The same is true here. The only controls you need are the control stick and the A button to control the zoom on the handy little map in the corner.



Although the control scheme is simple enough, this game is HARD. They suck you in by putting some pretty easy levels on Beginner mode, but once you start on Advanced, the levels ramp up in difficulty fast. I tried Expert just to see how hard it was, level 6 defeated me and all my continues (I even took the warp from level 1 to level 5), and that mode goes all the way up to 50.



To sum up, this game is a lot more fun than you might expect because of the cute graphics, but it is not easy. If you grab yourself a copy, be prepared to engage in some stress reduction exercises. This game is maddeningly difficult.

Zoop is not your typical puzzle game. Viacom decided to deviate from the classic puzzle game formula: stuff falls from the sky and you have to arrange it in one (or more) piles.







I would love to try and explain how you play this game, but the words to adequately describe the experience do not exist. Let’s just say this, you shoot colors from your triangle and similarly colored “things” disappear.



Sounds fun. And for the first two or three levels it is. Unfortunately, there are (according to the manual) somewhere around 100 levels.



The thought of 100 levels with that musical score is enough to keep me up at night. As far as I can tell, there are two variations of the same theme: when the game is on, and when the game is off.



Zoop was released for just about any system you could think of. Apparently Viacom thought that if they released a crappy game for 3 dozen systems, they might be able to recoup the $15 they spent making it.



I fished this out of the bargain bin for $10. If I had it to do over again, I’d talk that clerk at Kay-Bee down to $5. Don’t go out of your way to find this game. If you do find it, don’t bother playing it, trust me, it’s not an experience that will significantly alter your life, at least, not in a good way.

Maybe I’m a little idealistic, or wierd (they seem to overlap) but I like playing games that give me a good challenge. It seems that in many of the games released lately, the devolopers are confusing length with difficulty. The two concepts can be interconnected, but they are not interchangeable.



Take for example: Castlevania for the NES. This game (released in 1987) is relatively short, with only 6 stages. It is also one of the most difficult games I have ever played. In fact, I just recently (May of 2001) was able to complete this game. At this point, you are probably asking yourself, “Why would anyone want to play a game that hard? I mean, there aren’t any cheats for it or anything!” The answer is simple: for the gratification. The feeling of completing something that took hours and hours of continuous play is indescribable.



This also brings me to my next point: strategy guides and cheat codes. Since about 2000, almost every time a new, big budget game comes out, the strategy guide comes out the same day (and sometimes days or even weeks before). I understand that not everyone is as “seasoned” as I am, but buying a new game and playing it with the strategy guide is like solving a crossword puzzle with the answer key right next to you. Sure, you get it done, but every time you get stuck, you instinctively reach for the guide to get you through the situations. Now don’t get me wrong, I own several strategy guides, but I buy them after I’ve finished the game to see what I missed.



Cheat codes. Cheat codes have been around since almost the beginning of time. As the video game industry moves forward, it is increasingly expected that a game will have cheat codes in it for “super-invincibility” or “mega-dumb-enemy mode” or something similar. I have personally seen some people, the day they get the game (or maybe a day or two later) run to the Internet to find all the cheats for the game so that they can finish it. In fact, if there are (gasp!) no cheat codes for a game, people will insist that there must be, especially if the game is even a bit more difficult than they are used to. Finishing a game with the cheats (and never finishing the game without using them) is pretty cheap, and does not build skill. If you finish a game this way, you see all there is to see within a couple of days, and then you become bored with it, possibly feeling that you did not get your money’s worth. Cheat codes can be fun after you’ve finished a game to goof around and show your friends how good you are, but they shouldn’t be (necessarily) used your first time through any game.



Of course, my view could be skewed somewhat.



Like I said, I have been playing video games for most of my life. It is (remotely) possible that my skills and hand-eye coordination have improved over the last 15+ years to the point that the games aren’t any easier, but I’m just that much better. I would like to think that, but it is difficult to argue with the facts I am presented with.

Video games are known for their accurate portrayal of real life. Here is a sampling of what I’ve learned over the years.

It takes a mean network to keep something like The Socks going. Here is a sample of what keeps it running smoothly. Pics and Bios of all the machines on my little network… Aren’t they cute?

I like my NES Advantage, so much so, in fact, that I wrote a poem for it… Yep, I’m a dork.