Archive for the ‘articles’ Category

Eating while gaming

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

In my time behind the various consoles, I’ve put in some marathon gaming sessions, occasionally hitting mental states very near to sleep. But I sometimes actually do remember to eat or drink something during a several-hour binge. Mostly because I start feeling too weak to hold up the controller without significant effort.

It’s about then that I reach for something to get me going again. You’re probably thinking, “Duh, caffeine.” But you’d be wrong. Caffeine for whatever reason doesn’t have much of an effect on me, and besides that, Mountain Dew just isn’t a substitute for actually eating something.

But some foods are better for eating while playing games than others, especially if you can do some planning beforehand. I’m going to run down some choices and their relative pros/cons. We’ll start off with some obvious choices:

Chips are pretty much a given. It’s easy to grab a few during a break in the action, cram ’em down your throat, and continue gaming. But, unless you get baked chips, they’re a little on the greasy side, which makes your controller slippery, and if you do get baked chips, they’re pretty gross. Chips with flavored powder on them (like Doritos) are delicious, but you get that cheesy, gunky residue all over your fingers, which gets on your controller, which gunks it up worse than just the grease does. And anything that requires dip? Forget about it.

Pizza’s convenient, since you can call up your favorite pizza joint and they’ll cook it and bring it right to you. But, eating pizza really requires two hands to do properly, so it’s really only viable if you’re taking turns and it’s not your turn or during the next several-minute long cutscene, and who knows when that’s going to happen.

Candy seems like an obvious choice, especially the non-chocolatey kind. It’s not messy, tastes great, and comes in these little wrappers. Which makes them good for a quick fix, but if you’ve ever eaten nothing but candy for a whole day (and I have) you’re going to start feeling… weird. Weird is not good.

Fruits are actually a decent choice. Not necessarily because they’re reasonably healthy, but because several of them come in their own wrappers. Just stay away from the ones you have to peel and you’re golden. Stuff like pears and apples are OK, but once you eat more than half of it, you can’t just sit it down without getting the flesh all gross, so bitesize stuff is a much better choice. Like cherries, grapes, or strawberries.

Simple sandwiches are also a good choice. Throwing your favorite filling between two slices of bread takes almost no time at all. As long as you don’t go overboard making a Dagwood, that is. Just make sure you have a paper towel or plate handy so you can throw down your sandwich between bites, and you’re in business.

I’ve tried a few other things, like soups, cereal, or even some herbal stimulants that were marketed toward golfers (no, I’m not kidding), but nothing has worked as well as fruits and sandwiches. I’m interested to see what other people have come up with to get them through marathon gaming sessions.

Hot Hands

Friday, November 6th, 2009

Whenever I end up playing multiplayer games with a group of friends, I tend to get long, long turns with a controller. Not (necessarily) because I’m better than everyone else, but I have particularly warm hands. What that means is that after just a few minutes of gameplay, the controller that I’ve been using is quite wet, and then nobody really wants to spend time drying it off to play. This doesn’t actually bother me too much, since it’s been going on as long as I can remember, but it has the unfortunate side effect of drying into an unappealing sludge that works its way into every crevice, rendering the controller kind of gross after a few sessions.

I’ve tried a few solutions, but none of them worked very well for one reason or another:

Talcum powder: works fine for a while, but kind of congeals into an even more unappealing slime than just sweat alone

Gloves: I lose too much of the tactile sensation of pressing the buttons on my controller for these to be viable for anything other than playing games in a blizzard. Plus, playing video games while wearing gloves looks kind of pretentious.

Controller Glove: In the Nintendo 64’s heyday, I spent a few bucks to get ‘controller gloves’ for my controllers. They were basically neoprene sleeves that went over your controllers. Felt kind like you wrapped your controller with a mousepad (Remember those?). Which worked fine for a few days, then the accumulated gunk in them made it feel (and smell) like I had wrapped sweatsocks around my controllers, which wasn’t ideal.

So, I can’t be the only one that has this kind of problem. Anyone else out there have any suggestions on how to deal with this issue?

Top five reasons why your Top X list is dumb and wrong

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

About a year ago I successfully played a prank on the Internet, and the results were better than I expected, and I thought it did a pretty good job of explaining why I have such a strong dislike for ‘Top X Lists’, but I figured I could expand on that with a more generalized tack.

And with that I’d like to present: The top five reasons why your Top X list is dumb and wrong

5. Lists are lazy. All Top X lists, including this one, are lazy. They take very little effort to produce and are really just filler. All you need is some space to fill, a desire to not really talk in depth about anything, and a wacky topic, which brings me to…

4. Topics are getting wacky. There have been so many Top X Lists that it’s getting tougher to find a way to connect ten or so seemingly unconnected things. Stuff like, “Top 13 games where the number of powerups you can get is a prime number” or “Top 7 cartoon characters based on ancient Greek cartographers” is becoming the norm.

3. Your rankings are wrong. No matter your methods, about half the people who read your list will find something wrong with it. You ranked something dumb as super-high, or left something off the list that obviously should have been there. What are you, an idiot?

2. When you’re doing “Best of” or “Worst of” lists the same things pop up over and over again. Top whatever video games: Final Fantasy something, Zelda something, Mario something. Worst video games: ET, Atari 2600 Pac-man, Smurfs, and then some terrible adult game. Yawn, seen ’em.

1. Once you reach a big enough mass of material, trying to pick the top few is futile. According to this list in 2005 alone around 175,000 books were published just in the United States, not to mention the rest of the world. And you’re going to tell me that you can pick the top 25 of them that featured protagonists riding on the back of a talking dinosaur? You’ll have to pardon my skepticism.

Borderline obsession

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Back in March of 2008 one of the most anticipated games I can remember finally made its way into my grubby little paws, Super Smash Bros. Brawl. On the day that I bought the thing, I spent over ten straight hours playing it. During that time I didn’t eat, didn’t drink, didn’t sleep, didn’t do anything except play that game, and I did the same thing for another half-dozen hours the next day.

Believe it or not, that used to be a common experience for me in the nineties. Possibly because I’d be dumb enough to rent a game that couldn’t be finished in under 20 hours and had to return it the next day. But from roughly the period between 2000 and 2008, that didn’t happen, at least not for me. Oh, sure, I played some pretty good games, but none of them put me in a state apparently one step removed from sleep.

I had thought that maybe something had changed. Had my passion for my hobby waned? Given that I started this very site in 2001, I’d say that’s probably not the case.

My best guess is that I have logged enough hours in enough games that I’ve kind of become one of those so-called ‘jaded gamers‘. I’ve been there, done that so many times that I almost forgot what it’s like to experience something new. But I’m relieved to know that the feeling is still buried down there somewhere, I just have to dig around a little to find it.

Massively Single Player

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

It’s been quite some time, really, since I decided to try the new online sensation that is the Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. Since then I’ve logged several hundred hours across Final Fantasy XI, World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, The Lord of the Rings Online, Dungeon Runners, Everquest, City of Heroes / City of Villains, and R.O.S.E. Online.

And I’ve given them all up. For one main reason:

Trying to organize a group of strangers to achieve a common goal is next to impossible.

Take Final Fantasy XI for example. Most of the game consists of finding a ‘camp’, sending one guy out to lure a monster over to your camp, and then beating on it mercilessly until it keels over and you get somehow stronger. Especially in the early levels, it really is that simple, but you’ll get people who act like they’ve never held a controller before, will walk off from their PC / Playstation without telling you, or instead of bringing one monster back to the camp, they’ll bring every monster in a five-mile radius for an insta-slaughter.

Or World of Warcraft. You might have a quest that tells you to take a thing to a guy in the next town over. If you’ve done the quest before and you know where the second guy is, you tell your buddies and start off to deliver the parcel. You get there only to discover that one guy followed you there, one guy got lost and ended up falling off a cliff, one guy is still at the store getting his gear fixed / selling trash, and one guy went to get supper 20 minutes ago, but didn’t bother to tell anyone, so he’s two towns back wondering where everyone is and begging them to come back to help him finish up the steps of the quest that everyone’s already done.

And on it goes that way. It’s as if the people on the other end of the game were plopped down in front of the control panel of a nuclear submarine, and all of the controls were in Esperanto.

So, rather than trying to deal with that nonsense, I mostly end up playing those kinds of games in single-player mode. Which is great, I don’t have to listen to anyone whining, I don’t have to bother with trying to coordinate chunks of missions around someone’s dog-walking schedule, and I can generally do things in the order that I want to, with the added bonus that if I take down a challenge that’s meant for a group by myself, then the victory was harder fought and slightly more memorable.

Of course, that means that I also miss out on large chunks of the games, mostly because I’m not bothering to do much of the group stuff, but that’s a tradeoff I’m willing to make.

Unauthorized strategies

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

A couple of weekends ago I found a copy of the Ultimate Unauthorized Nintendo! Game Strategies at my local thrift store for a quarter. It’s got hints, tips, and strategies for around 100 NES games, which is pretty awesome.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Isn’t this the same guy who told us some time ago that strategy guides were contributing to the dumbing down of our game players of today?”

You better believe it! Let’s engage in a thought exercise for a moment for those who might think I’m a hypocrite for loving an old timey strategy guide over new-fangled ones.

Pretend for a moment that there’s no Internet. No GameFAQs, no GameWinners, no IGN, nothing of the sort. You’re sitting there, playing through a pretty tough game, and you hit a section or a puzzle that you just can’t wrap your head around. What do you do? I recommend throwing your hands up in frustration, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, turning off your system, going to bed, and trying again the next day. But what if that doesn’t work? You can get a friend involved to see if you can work together to overcome whatever challenge is standing in your way, or you can run out and grab a hint book, I’ll repeat, hint book, not strategy guide.

A hint book won’t give you step-by-step handholding directions on how to overcome every challenge the game throws at you. It gives you a few pointers and then turns you loose. Heck, one of the most complicated games covered in the book, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, only gets five pages of exposition, and the first page is nothing but a fuzzy screenshot and some data about the game itself.

Which is a large part of why I have the stance on walkthroughs that I do. I view them as an absolute last resort if you’re stuck. Not some holy text to be followed by rote. To sail through the game guided along every step of the way by someone else’s instruction is more of a hollow victory.

Fun times

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

It’s been a busy time for the Crummysocks network of sites:

Over at Pro Tip of the Day we’ve had some pretty interesting tips including my personal technique for mashing buttons faster, and a way to play the SNES Civilization that borderlines on cheating.

Rejected Screens got a ton of new screens, particularly from the Super NES version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. I just can’t help myself, I really like that game.

On the game-playing front, I’ve finally gotten around to opening my copy of Final Fantasy VI Advance, which I bought back in ’07. The retranslation definitely changes the tone of a few of the scenes in the game, so it’s definitely worth it to play through for the thousand-and-first time.

I’ve also been slogging through Tales of Vesperia for the Xbox 360. I was pretty jazzed because I really liked the two Tales of Symphonia games but it’s been tough going, and I’m not really sure why. All of the pieces that I liked from the other games are there, but something just hasn’t ‘clicked’ for me yet. I’ll probably end up working though it all anyway, because I’m invested in it now, but it’s going to take some time. Probably even longer now that we have a remake of Turtles in Time coming down the pike.

Competing sites

Monday, June 15th, 2009

After a few months, Pro tip of the Day is still going strong and closing in on its 200th update. And, like any site that’s a runaway success (or in my case a slightly lethargic sauntering success), it’s spawned an imitator.

I’m just as shocked as you are.

These jokers have also started a Pro tip of the Day dot com site, except their focus is less on video games and more on being funny. Except they quit updating after two weeks, and they weren’t exactly funny or useful.

But, hey, imitation’s a form of flattery, right?

Right?

The high price of strategy

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Astute readers might remember that some time ago I gave the existence of strategy guides a hard time. Mostly because I like figuring stuff out and having step-by-step instructions takes some of the fun out of that.

But, I still get them on occasion.

Why? I know that GameFAQs exists, and it’s usually a pretty good resource. But it’s got some flaws. The guides are posted by the site’s users, which is fine until you’re trying to play a brand new game. Then you have to wait for someone to buy it, play it through at least once, and then type up everything you wanted to know about it. That takes time. You also run across the occasional FAQ author who omits information, fails to fully describe what you need to do to to proceed, or just plain gets things wrong somehow. But they are free, and generally usually mostly correct-ish so they have that going for them.

But, I occasionally go for the pre-printed guides for a few reasons: They’re in book form, so I don’t have to sit in front of my computer to read it, which is pretty nice if your console isn’t near your computer. They’re usually pretty complete from day one, which is kind of nice. And they have pictures, which might sound kind of lame, but there are lots of situations that are pretty hard to describe with words alone, and pictures certainly help (incidentally, that’s one of the reasons I started Pro tip of the Day).

But, the problem is, I’m cheap, and guides are ridiculously expensive… We’ll take a recent game, Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon. Game: $30 Guide: $20

Super Mario Cookies

Sunday, February 15th, 2009

On one of my recent trips to the thrift store, I came across a package of Super Mario Bros. themed cookie cutters.

They even came with a recipe on the package for ‘delicious sugar cookies’, but it didn’t look like it was going to be that tasty, so I convinced my mom to divulge her secret recipe for sugar cookies that are actually delicious.

If you want to follow along at home, here’s what you’ll need:

1 package of Super Mario Bros. cookie cutters (you can substitute other shapes if you must)
3 1/4 cups of All Purpose flour
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1/2 cup of butter (or one stick)
1 cup of sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1 cup sour cream

Sift the flour, baking soda, and salt together in a bowl and set aside. Then in another, larger bowl, combine the butter, egg, vanilla, and sugar and mix thoroughly. Once all of the ingredients are combined, stir in the sour cream. Then slowly add the flour to the wet ingredients, about a cup at a time. Make sure the flour is completely integrated before adding more.

About this point the mixture got a little drier than we thought it should be, so we added about 3 oz. of Milnot to loosen it up (you could also use your favorite evaporated milk product).

Once everything is combined, the dough should have the consistency of slightly loose Play-Doh, and it’s going to be very sticky.

Now, lightly dust your countertop (or favorite dough-preparation surface) with flour and grab a roughly softball-sized lump of dough. Drop it in the middle of the counter and dust the top of the dough with more flour. Then roll it out until it’s about 1/8” thick.

Then, dip your cutters in flour, shake them off, and start cutting. Cut straight down, give a wiggle and lift.

They might take a little tapping on the counter to liberate the cookies from their cutters.

Place them gently on a cookie sheet (since they’ve got flour on the bottom, they shouldn’t stick) and then toss them in the oven you had preheated to 320°F and let them go for about 12 minutes or until lightly browned.

Remove from the oven, let them cool, and start making icing.

For the icing, you just throw some confectioner’s sugar into a cup of your choice and add a little bit of warm water, it’s hard to say exactly how much since we didn’t really measure, but you want to add just enough water so that the sugar dissolves into a slightly runny paste (pro tip: it’s going to take far less than you think). Stir in a little food coloring to get whatever colors you want since you probably don’t want clear. Since we’re dealing with Mario cookies here, we just stuck with the basics, red, blue, green, and yellow.

Once you have the colors that you want, just use little paintbrushes to apply the icing to the cookies. You could also use spoons to dribble it on, but brushes give you a little finer control.

Then you just decorate the cookies however you like, and give the icing some time to dry. How long it will take will kind of be determined by how much water you used. Thicker icing (less water) will dry slightly slower than thinner icing (more water).

Once dried, put them on a serving tray of your choice.

And then watch for someone to attempt to make off with the whole batch while your back’s turned.

Whew! That was a close one!